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Event Details

Audition: The Inaccurate Conception

  • 10/11/2019
  • 11/11/2019
  • 2 sessions
  • 10/11/2019, 18:30 20:30 (UTC-00:00)
  • 11/11/2019, 19:30 21:30 (UTC-00:00)
  • Putney Arts Theatre


  • Registering for this event will sign you up as attending this event. Please let us know if your intentions change.

Below, you'll find audition and production details for The Inaccurate Conception by Geoff Saunders & Richard Ahsam, as well as backstage help required. This will be a rehearsed reading.

Audition dates

Sunday 10th November, 6.30pm 
Monday 11th November, 7.30pm

Please do get in touch with the Director, Graham Kellas, with any questions you may have by emailing: gkellas@virginmedia.com

Production details

Performance space

Main stage at Putney Arts Theatre

Performance date

Friday 13th December, 8.00pm

Rehearsal period

  • Read through: Sun 24 Nov, 6.30pm @ PAT
  • Rehearsals (small scenes) Tue 3, Wed 4, Thu 5 Dec at 7.30pm (location tbc)
  • Rehearsals (classroom scenes) Sat 7 Dec (3.30 – 6pm, with team ‘social’ to follow) and Sun 8 Dec (3-5pm) @ Dance Attic, Fulham
    Please note that this weekend is our only chance to rehearse the scenes which involve everyone, so if you can’t make these dates, it is very unlikely you will be cast. Sorry!
  • Rehearsals (small scenes) Tue 10, Wed 11, Thu 12 Dec at 7.30pm (location TBC)
  • Tech / dress rehearsal: Fri 13 Dec, 6pm @ PAT

Please note: This is an amateur production. You do not need to be a member of Putney Theatre Company to audition, but actors and crew will need to become members to take part in the show for £20 a year, and a £10 show fee will also be due.

Audition details

You do not need to prepare anything, but please ensure you arrive on time.

Note that, with the exception of the actor playing Celia, my intention is for all actors to play both a seven year-old child and an adult.

Ideally, I’m looking for six female and four male actors (but that may change, depending on turnout).

Your age doesn’t matter – your ability to release your inner seven-year-old does!


The Inaccurate Conception had its first performance at Putney Arts Theatre 25 years ago and has since been performed all over the UK and abroad. It is a raucous celebration of the school Nativity Play. Celia Whibley is directing class 3C in this year’s Nativity; it’s her - and the class’s - first ever production. The children are unmanageable and uncooperative, but Celia’s real obstacle is her unhelpful fellow staff. Battling against the odds is a ‘learning experience’ for Celia, but will the struggle be worth it? Seven-year-olds, teachers and parents are all played by adults in this “thoroughly hilarious spectacle” (from a 1994 review).



Celia (F): Year 3 teacher. It’s her first nativity play. Quite nervous.
Octavia (F): Headteacher, quite matronly.
Miss Cusp (F): Teacher, quite unpleasant.
Miss Belcher (F): Teacher, a double-act with Miss Cusp. Also quite unpleasant.
Kurt (M): Teacher, quite politically correct.
Mr Miller (M): Teacher, quite a disciplinarian.

Children (aged 7)

Shane (M): sees the potential for violence in all situations.
Jessica (F): a starlet in the making; has a lisp.
Dougal (M): super intelligent, basically a seven-year-old Stephen Fry.
Spencer (M): super anxious.
Craig (M), Melanie (F), Siobhan (F): destined to be three wise men.
Michelle (F), Justine (F): destined to be angels.


Jessica’s mum (F): a pushy parent
Shane’s dad (M): a nice guy
Spencer’s dad (M): not a nice guy
Spencer’s mum (F): downtrodden
Dougal’s mum (F): a good listener

Backstage opportunities available include

  • Stage Manager

Please get in touch with zoe.jeffadputneyarts@gmail.com or info@putneyartstheatre.co.uk if you are interested in getting involved.

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